Updated: Sep 28
The journey from fragmentation to wholeness can take a life-time. Going through childhood, the development of a personality and the subsequent conditioning that the majority us go through, can create a huge split with our true nature, what we are born as. Regardless of whether we have suffered trauma, just the very nature of how we get conditioned in order to live in a society, can leave a great whole within us. That is why for some successful, healthy and wealthy people in the world, they can still feel
a lack, as if something missing.
Often we begin that search by going outside of ourselves, I know I did. I was used to travelling from a very young age as my Dad was in the Merchant Navy and always enjoyed it, seeing new sights and meeting different people. However, I remember taking my gap year a little bit later than most well after I finished University and had started work, and looking back now I can see I was in a search for myself, this perceived and deeply felt missing part of me. It took me a few years to realise the search needed to go in the opposite direction, and later, knowing in reality there really isn't any need for a search, as that aspect of us, our true nature, has always been there and is beyond what we perceive as broken, faulty, or not good enough.
It has taken me a while to realise that the journey back to wholeness is not necessarily about letting go of what we perceive as the negative aspects of us, our shadow side. The healing is very much about bringing those aspects into the light, through love. By loving all aspects of our nature we help to re-connect to our true nature, which is total love.
I love this quote by Rumi "The wound is where the Light enters you." The 'Light' is love, and all the flavours of love; compassion, peace, harmony, joy etc. So we can think of our wounds as the very gateways to our own divine nature.
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powered gold, silver or platinum. The meaning of this practice is about finding beauty in the imperfect and I think we can use it as an analogy to see our own journey in a similar way. Instead of the gold lacquer to hold the broken pieces together, we use our own love, compassion and kindness, to see all the disparate, parts, pieces of ourselves as one whole joined together by our own love.
For me it has been the discovery of my own 'love glue' that has been the key to my own healing. Until I started to give myself love, to feel my own love for myself, true transformation couldn't begin. Although I spoke earlier about turning inwards to do this work we do also need to look outside, to the life situation we have manifested and to make the necessary changes to that, in order for us to have the safe environment to heal. This could be looking at where you live, what you do as work, if you have any co-dependent relationships, where you have strong attachments or addictions, how you balance your life, your wellbeing and self-care practices, and where you are using up your valuable time, energy and money assets. Creating boundaries in these areas is a key step to reclaiming yourself and returning to a feeling of wholeness, through self-love.
If I am honest I don't know if the journey ever really ends, I'm not sure we wake up one morning and think "Ah I am whole." However I believe we begin to feel more whole, as we take the baby steps each day towards that which we already are, through using our 'love glue' in each moment being conscious of our choices. My wish for you on your healing journey is that you find your 'love glue' and start to see just how beautiful you are.
With warm wishes,
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