Grieving the loss of the strategy

When we finally see what we have been doing and begin to gently let go of the chains of control, of the crutches that we have developed to hold everything up and together, it can feel overwhelming, devastating almost. To see how we have maintained a way of being with ourselves and the world which we deemed would be acceptable - not giving it up through coercion, or in order to fix something, for that is control again, but letting go out of love, out of compassion, self-worth, as we finally come to see our own worth, that we are enough just as we are, that we have inside us the very love we have been craving all along.

It can be tough, as I said it can even be devastating, to see it all so clearly, how we have imprisoned ourselves for so long, that it can take time to let go, but let go we do, once we have seen and felt who we really are, felt the love inside, there is no going back. I work with clients the same way I healed myself, to allow the space to gently let go, to feel everything that needs to be felt, to continue to use the crutches until it is time to let each one go, much like a child leaves behind the stabilizers on her bike when she has no need for them, to ride to freedom on her own volition.

With Sophrology we begin to slowly and gently come back to the body – for anyone who has a disordered relationship with food, whether it be constant yo yo dieting or a full-blown eating disorder, we end up spending an inordinate amount of time in the head, Sophrology gently brings us back into the body. We begin to create more space, start to become much more present with ourselves and with others, life begins to get more enjoyable, we laugh more, we cry easily, we begin to see ourselves truthfully, having let go of the need to fix something. And along the way we find that our natural and healthy body size, shape and weight for us, appears effortlessly.

It isn’t an easy journey but it could be one of the most worthwhile journeys you ever take. It was for me, knowing myself as love, loveable, worthy, joyful and free to be who I am, is nothing short of a miracle from where I was, in the depths of self-loathing using food to numb my feelings, all that wasted time, energy and money on diets, never being happy with myself, always comparing myself to others, spending most of my time in my head thinking of food – such a waste, and we grieve this also as part of the process, letting go of the past, letting go of the strategies we created as a child and later as an adult in order to be acceptable, so that we can step confidently into the future now and be who we were born to be.

Wishing you the freedom that is undoubtedly a part of this journey.

With warm wishes,


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